A number's value is not static

My hubby and I celebrated our 5-year anniversary this month. Now, when I think on that, it seems a short duration on the surface. Only 5? Child's play. Just wait till you hit 20, 25, 30 years...

But when I reflect on where we were at that point in time, it feels light years from where we are today. I mean, I recognize those people, but it's a different life altogether. They are mostly environmental differences, but I think where you are shapes way more than is easily observed.

Five years ago...

We still rented, and were living at the duplex on 39th & Brooklyn.
John still had the Subaru.
While still at the bank, I was in a different position, in a different department, with a different boss.
John was still doing massage at Montgomery Park while also teaching.
I did not yet have my driver's license, and was still a slave to the bus schedule.
We didn't have cable, were still on dial-up, and had a dinosaur of a PC on Windows 98.
We celebrated special occasions with a nice dinner out.

Now...

We own a home, and all of the joys and expenses that go along with it.
I have a VW, and John, until a week ago, had a little Nissan (a story for another time).
I am figuring out yet another role at work...after having applied for and being re-orged into like three others at a rapid pace.
The salon at the Park has changed hands, and John has worked at one other location, also now closed; the teaching continues.
The Subaru's demise (another story altogether) prompted me to get my license, and the aforementioned VW.
I finally caved to the cable guy, the DSL offer, and the PC had to be put out of its misery. I have found new misery while wrestling with Vista.
We spend the night in for birthdays, anniversaries, whatever. We go out when we've had a bad day.

Also in the past five we've made some fabulous new friends, reconnected with some old ones, and John has decided to go back to school. I can already see the next five years reshaping our lives as we know them.

We are enjoying the ride.

Snow Day!

There are a few years now between my childhood and the present, and yet I still get a little giddy at the prospect of a few snowflakes. While snow is no stranger to Portland, like any other welcomed and appreciated guest, it never stays for too long. And yet, you hate to see it go.

The weather forecast begins, and the 'S' word rears its head. They have my attention now. Where? At what elevation? Above 500 feet? Where the hell are we? Crap. Oooh...valley floor later in the week?! Oh yeah, that's us. Don't drive unless you have to? Consider it DONE.

Though the school closure news ticker no longer applies to my responsibilities, when winter gives us anything other than liquid precipitation, I cannot help but watch and root for my fellow Portland Public School attendees...and cross my fingers they can get a day of frozen fun. None of that cheap two-hour delay B.S.

Obligatory "Long Time, No Write" Blog Post

Too much time for reruns when one is on vacation with few plans. Too much time to dwell on two major pet peeves about the sitcom realm.

1. How many of you have your bedroom set up so that when a lamp on one side of the bed is turned on, the other side lights up, too? What is THAT about?

2. Why, oh why, do the outsides of sitcom homes rarely match the layout of the insides?

That's all...and enough to remind myself that I really need to read more.

You never forget the first

Watching a movie at Westgate theater, Sunday evening, 1999. Can't get comfortable. Uneasy in my seat, and a stabbing pain in my elbow...what is that? Muscle? Clot? No matter how I adjust, I cannot get this odd, rising feeling to subside...is it because of the pain, or is the pain the cause of it? Can't tell, can't relax, can't settle. Didn't have much caffeine today, so not that...but I feel fine, don't I? Pain finally vanishes, or more like it dissolves, some kind of rush, a small one, relief from unusual pain? Settle back into movie, focus...eat greasy popcorn, sip ice-diluted soda..pain back. What the heck is wrong with me? Is something wrong with me? Don't I feel fine? Then why am I worried? What could it be? Bend arm, wriggle about...nothing. No rest, no ease. Frustrated...cannot watch movie, but almost over. Time to go. Walk hastily through theater...what is my hurry? Cannot slow down. Outside, foggy. I love fog...why, then, do I feel claustrophobic, closed in, trapped? Where can I go to escape this? Escape what?! Into the truck, back to his apartment, almost time for the X-Files, then back home. Home. Driving down highway, want to roll window down, but too cold, but do I care? Need air. Elbow hurting, hurting, gone, dissolved into tingle spreading outward down to feet, crawling up legs slowly slowly what is it and where is it going and what will it do up legs still getting closer to my heart oh god my heart it's gonna stop my heart can't breathe here it comes ok past heart still alive but still it climbs whatever it is trapped what can I say it sounds so crazy oh no up to my head my brain there it will kill me for sure here I go what a way to go from what I do not know oh god what will happen when it gets there ok alive but holy crap too much energy and nowhere to go nowhere to go breathe breathe...breathe. What the hell was that? I just had the strangest feeling, just then, it felt like it crawled all the way up me! Breathe. You are ok. Ok. To the apartment. Still not feeling too settled, am I sick? Maybe if I lie down, try to lie down, cannot lie still to save my life. Gotta get up, but why? Gotta pace, walk a rut into the tiny floor of the tiny apartment. Can I sit? Nope, can't sit. What is wrong? Is something wrong? All I want to do is go home, home, yeah, that's it. That will make me feel better. Gotta go home.

The gut never lies

A few words about my gut, but not in the wheat vein.

I've learned over the last few years that in the end, whatever the situation, I ought to have trusted my gut feelings. It almost never fails, and frankly, it's a little scary! If I seem to have figured this out, how does it keep happening that I try to push past it? How do I keep coming to that late realization?

I think we are conditioned to trust until the subject is proven untrustworthy, believe he is innocent until proven guilty, give the benefit of the doubt, be understanding of a bad first impression, and so on. Noble concepts, to be sure. I believe they should be practiced, but only at first. If you cannot talk your gut out of something, it may have something important to say.

If you have learned to listen to your intuition, even if it was the hard way, it will continue to speak to you. And, by habit, you may fight it, try to talk yourself out of it, logic it away. All I can suggest is to keep an open dialogue. It's the only way to know if it has something of value to tell you.

Of course, maybe your intuition is a jerk and tries to tell you that your polka-dot pants look awesome with a plaid shirt.

The word DUH comes to mind...

You are a Social Liberal (85% permissive) and an... Economic Liberal (13% permissive) You are best described as a: Socialist (13e/85s) Link: The Politics Test on OkCupid Free Online Dating Also: The OkCupid Dating Persona Test

Like a vegetarian in a meat market...

Trying to order a wheat-free meal in a restaurant is an exercise in patience. More often than not, you are isolated in the salad portion of the menu, sans croutons. I guess that's healthy and all, but hey, every so often I need something smothered in melted cheese, OK?! Enter nachos...so long as the tortilla chips are of the corn variety, you are usually safe. Rice-based dishes abound, but watch for those of the Asian persuasion, because then the soy sauce could get you.

Grocery shopping becomes a bit like detective work, too, as you scrutinize every label for wheat and its derivatives. Labelling has become much better, with warnings for common allergens, but the ingredient scan is hard habit to break.

Fortunately, many stores have specific sections (albeit small ones) which contain wheat-safe products. A handful of restaurants have offerings catering to the needs of the wheat-challenged, as well.

Some of my faves:

Trader Joe's - Grocery store of the gods, they publish a list of their gluten-free products (not the same as wheat-free, but it is usually covered here). The Organic Brown Rice Pasta is awesome, though does not translate well in cold pasta dishes.

Hawthorne Fish House - All sorts o' fish & chips, all made with rice flour. Safe for me, and damned tasty, too. Will even satisfy you Portland flour eaters out there. Do try the deep fried cheese curds...gooey heaven!

Old Spaghetti Factory - Did you read that correctly? Oh yes. They recently began offering a gluten-free pasta as a substitute in their standard spaghetti dishes. I no longer need to deny myself my occasional mizithra and clam sauce indulgence.

I am still searching for a really good pizza crust recipe/mix...